Bella and Edward Go To Harvard…Sort Of

Harvard University’s humor and satire magazine has a spoof of Twilight coming out entitled Nightlight. The Harvard Lampoon has been around nearly 300 years and was initially modeled on the British humor magazine Punch. They have done a parody of anything and everything. According to the description on

About three things I was absolutely certain. First, Edwart was most likely my soul mate, maybe. Second, there was a vampire part of him–which I assumed was wildly out of his control–that wanted me dead. And third, I unconditionally, irrevocably, impenetrably, heterogeneously, gynecologically, and disreputably wished he had kissed me.

And thus Belle Goose falls in love with the mysterious and sparkly Edwart Mullen in the Harvard Lampoon’s hilarious send-up of Twilight.

Pale and klutzy, Belle arrives in Switchblade, Oregon looking for adventure, or at least an undead classmate. She soon discovers Edwart, a super-hot computer nerd with zero interest in girls. After witnessing a number of strange events–Edwart leaves his tater tots untouched at lunch! Edwart saves her from a flying snowball!–Belle has a dramatic revelation: Edwart is a vampire. But how can she convince Edwart to bite her and transform her into his eternal bride, especially when he seems to find girls so repulsive?

Complete with romance, danger, insufficient parental guardianship, creepy stalker-like behavior, and a vampire prom, Nightlight is the uproarious tale of a vampire-obsessed girl, looking for love in all the wrong places.”

Probably the most famous spoof of the Harvard Lampoon was their 1969 spoof of Tolkein called Bored of the Rings.  Many writers of the magazine end up  on the sitcom writing staffs in Hollywood. Among their alums is Conan O’Brien.


  1. FilDeCuivre says:

    Goose and Swotchblade! That’s just hilarious! 😀 I want to read it!

  2. This sounds great!! I love want to read it too!!

  3. So funny! This part is the best-

    “Complete with romance, danger, insufficient parental guardianship, creepy stalker-like behavior”

    Cant wait to read it, though I bet it wont be out in the UK for ages.


    • I really liked reading that part, too.

    • That bit’s brilliant. The whole thing sounds super funny! I love that it’s called ‘nightlight.’

    • well twifriend made me laugh with your comment bout the host!!!! Wont rest till im in love with ian !!!! So funny have a fun day..

      • Hey Twifriend, Its true though!.lol. Are you in love with him yet? As Im getting very sleepy 🙂

        Love your comment below as those lines also made me laugh so much! But help me with this-tater tots are some sort of potato food goodness over your way-right??

        And Edward/Edwart can save me from snow anytime 🙂

        • JODIE HEHE tater tots ill try my best 2 tell u. You eat them w/fast food they are like an inch in size.They are served at schools they fit well in the trays.Its like fried hash browns.The outside is crispy and golden.I hope that helps. I have to go to the library to get the host or buy it ill let u know when i start.Btw im not sure if you know them but im going to see friendly fires when they come to new york city cant wait twifriend!!!!LOL

          • Hey LJC! Thanks for the info its nice to know the inner workings of the tater-tot They do sound yummy though!

            Your so luckly living in NewYork, its so much better than living in the boring UK and you also get to see friendly fires! I had planned to travel up to London to see the premiere of New Moon and also to met the Twi-cast,but now I have found out that they have cancelled it! Crappy UK again.

            And if I could I would lend you my copy of The Host, but I guess thats almost But do try and read it, you wont be sorry 🙂 Have a great day Twi-friend 🙂

    • That part made me laugh too.

      You can pre-order it from amazon uk, doesn’t have a release date though.

  4. plz take no offense anyone but it looks and sounds really blah i mean wut kind of name is edwart o.0 and belle goose common harvard could at least come up with something better then those names xD i mean belle would do but belle goose eww y not belle bird or somthing like that plus it looks to me like i wouldnt be able to read it anyway to many long words :/ this is harvard were talking about here i could never read something from harvard no offense ppl who go to harvard university KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK PPL! xD

  5. “I unconditionally, irrevocably, impenetrably, heterogeneously, gynecologically, and disreputably wished he had kissed me.”

    Gynecologically?! I nearly fell over laughing! This is amazing.

  6. AH HA” leaves his tater tots untouched”!!! Made me laugh “saves belle from a snowball”.We all know ed would save his beloved bella from anything even from some snow!!!! GREAT must have a copy!!!!!

  7. the stalker part made me laugh the most. the stuff they’ve written is kind true though, how ever much I love twilight. Have they done a HP one bye any chance??

  8. sounds like they didn’t read the book and this is only based on the film. it would’ve been better to call it knife, oregon.

  9. this is hysterical, I can’t for the rest of it

  10. LaTuaCantante says:

    This was hilarious.

  11. Wow. I want to read that.

  12. I’m so going to have to read this! It sounds too hilarious to pass up. 😀
    Amazon says that it comes out November 3. =]

  13. I so Want to read this!

  14. if harvard’s paying enough attention to spoof it, it must be big. look at that… twilight right up there with lord of the rings. sweet.

  15. Haha! This sounds absolutely silly and hilarious!

  16. i have seen one but with a worm in the apple by the harvard lampoon on amazon …is it the same? anyway i prefer that cover

  17. Wanna read it! Now! ^^

  18. this is going to be AWESOME!!!!

  19. I laughed so hard at that little taste that I scared my dog and son! The only thing I don’t really get is the town name of Switchblade. I think Spoons or Knives would have been cuter, but what do I know 🙂 Does anyone know if that is a real town name?

  20. Zookie Monster says:

    This sounds absolutely amazing, and not like some stupid parody like other people have been making recently (besides, of course, the first original videos…)

  21. tht was friggin hilarious!!! 😉

  22. He leaves his tater tots untouched!!!! Ahahhahaha!!! Hilarious!!! 🙂

  23. It made me laugh.. but also kinda fealt an insult don’t ask me why.. but it still looks funny, can’t wait to read it lol…

  24. Ummm… Harvard Lampoon isn’t three hundred years old. It was founded in 1876 according to both Amazon and Wikipedia. That means it is only 133 years old.

  25. Sounds great…now how do I get a copy????

  26. Serena Welles says:

    So funny. 😀 I’d love to get my hands on this. 😀

  27. Bored of the rings is the funniest book I’ve ever read.

  28. Rosalie's Pain says:

    I must admit, this sounds pretty funny. Looking at the Twilight saga from a different perspective, I always thought it was unhealthy. Bella always seems desperate. Believe me though, I will probably read it in one sitting. It really made me laugh. And yes, Edward was a stalker no matter how you put it. I can’t wait.

  29. will definitely buy this 🙂

  30. I have read another Twilight parody – “Twilite: A Parody” – which was pretty darn good! Excerpts found at Hope this new one is just as good.

  31. I was laughing so hard when I read that


    I certainly did need a laugh today.

  32. that was hilarious!
    i wanna read it.
    where can i get it?

  33. Kelsie Pattinson says:

    How many pages? :s I <3 EDWARD CULLEN, not edwart mullen!!

  34. I really would buy it just for fun, maybe Steph buy it too… this is great! and after all, if Harvard take the annoyance to write something like this, it mean that twilight furor are more than just a temporaly fact

  35. Dia Pattinson says:

    Hey twifriends..i just found out bout da joy of dis frm a teeny asian country,bangladesh..readin ur posts makes me feel so helpless..atleast u people can go to premieres,or a multiplex to watch new moon,we dnt even get the dvd here til atleast a month later! 🙁

  36. I also read the other parody already out, “TWILITE: A PARODY” (bought it on and it was hilarious! (and I am a Twihard, too!) Have you guys seen it? I wonder if a New Moon parody is next.

  37. Lmfao. That was freakin’ HILARIOUS. I can’t wait until we can actually see it….or read it, whichever. LOL, Switchblade. XD

  38. Well anything will be better than the crock that is the regular twilight books.

  39. Love, the idea! Want to read it

  40. harvard '11 says:

    i feel obliged to point out that most of these comments were written by members of the harvard lampoon themselves. how pathetic.

  41. Kerstin says:

    I’ve read till chapter 3, and it SO ideoticaly hailarous!!!! I can’t wait to finish it! I hope the call the next one FULL MOON. The oonly part I didn’t like (so far) is that there is no Jacob. :'(


  1. […] Nightlight a new parody from the Harvard Lampoon it should be really funny from just that little bit taken from the site! SOURCE […]

  2. […] Lexicon reports that Harvard Lampoon is releasing a spoof of Twilight entitled Nightlight: A Parody. Here […]

  3. […] wizards, and goblins. Vintage will soon publish Nightlight, a Harvard Lampoon. (Read about it here.) Not that Rowling or Meyer deserve satire, but because their work offers so much material. […]

  4. […] and Edward go to Harvard. (Sort of.) Read Harvard’s parody of Twilight! Some pretty funny […]

  5. […] a thing or two to say about Twilight. They even went so far as to publish a short parody entitled Nightlight. “About three things I was absolutely certain. First, Edwart was most likely my soul mate, […]

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