Jen Yamato Explains Twilight 101 To a Nonbeliever

This is THE most hilarious thing like this I have ever read, and the non-Twihard is actually not really obnoxious. It’s absolutely worth the read!

Dave: Okay! So let’s talk about GREEN HORNET! I’m ready!

Jen: Uhhhh, Dave?

Dave: Okay! So let’s talk about EAT PRAY LOVE!

Jen: Well, that’s not exactly the romantic epic I was thinking about.

Dave: Okay, I am now ready to talk about ENTER THE VOID!

Jen: That’s not it, either — although if Bill Condon gets creative he could take a very interesting cue from Enter the Void for the birthing scene in his 2011 sequel The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn. So… let’s talk TWILIGHT!

Dave: Why do I have to wait through Eclipse to get to the part where she has a monsterbaby?

Jen: Because all good things come to those who wait. Sometimes, those things are bloody, gory child birthings of half-human, half-monster babies. You know, they made Eclipse to be more action-packed than the previous two Twilight films, with plenty of vampire-on-vampire-on-werewolf violence. In other words, it’s kinda-sorta-almost your kind of movie!”

See the rest here.