New Moon from a Child’s Point of View

Last night I let my kid watch New Moon for the first time. Now, it should be noted that my kids are currently 6 and 8 years old. My 6 year old daughter is into all things having to do with princesses or animals of every kind. My 8 year old son loves Harry Potter, Star Wars, and video games. After five years of having their mom deal with Twilight stuff, they know who Bella, Edward, and Jacob are. They know Edward is a vampire and Jacob is a werewolf, but that’s about it. They’ve never had any interest in anything Twilight. So when it came on TV last night, I figured they would run away and go play something in their rooms. Nope. They sat and watched the film, and in typical child fashion, they asked hundreds of questions. After about 10 mins of giggling at the randomness, innocence, and childlike wonder of their questions, I started tweeting them out for all to see.

Well, it seems those tweets were quite popular last night! RealOrNotReal apparently read the tweets out loud to her family while driving cross country. Tucheer83 has requested to meet my kids at a convention so she can get their autographs! So I figured that since so many of us are trapped in our homes here in the states from a snow storm, I’d share the tweets with everyone on the blog  just so you can have a little laugh of your own. They came into the film just at the end of the birthday party when Carlisle was stitching up Bella’s arm. The tweets are in order, so imagine watching the film from start to finish as you read though. You can continue reading under the cut.

Child: Mom, why are his eyes yellow? Me: cause his eyes change when he drinks blood. Child: Then shouldn’t they be red?

Child: Why is Edward leaving her? Me: cause he thinks she in danger with him. Child: but I thought he loved her. Me: he does. Child: so he’s lying?

C: Why is Bella just sitting there? M: cause she’s sad and doesn’t want to do anything. C: doesn’t she even go down for dinner?

C: why did Jacob take off his shirt? M: to use his shirt on her head wound. C: is Bella gonna fall in love him him? Because he’s more handsome than Edward.

C: Mom, would you go cliff diving? M: NO! C: do you turn into a wolf when you go cliff diving?

C: why does Jacob walk around in the rain naked? M: Um…. I got nothin’!!
(This tweet got LOADS of response. I did end up telling my son that seeing Jacob with his shirt off makes girls go crazy. At which point he asked me if it made ME go crazy. Heheh…)

(This is the scene with Laurent) C: Does Bella see that his eyes are red? M: yes. C: does that mean he’s gonna try to eat her? Why doesn’t she RUN! Child starts screaming at this point!

C: Does Jacob like Edward? M: NO! C: Does Edward like Jacob? M: NO! C: But Bella likes them both? M: yup. C: That’s a problem. (I think this is the understatement of the century!)

My son just said, and I quote, “I’m not into Vampires. It’s a girl thing isn’t it?” HAHAHA

Now daughter, who is obsessed with all animals just said, “Mom, can I be Jake as a werewolf?” And then started running around and howling.

(Now we’re up to the cliff diving scene. I was laughing so hard at them though this that I nearly wet myself!)

C: what’s she doing? M: she’s gonna jump. C: WHY??? M: cause the rush makes her see Edward. C: Why does she want him? He dumped her!

(Then Bella Jumps) Daughter: WHERE IS THE WOLF! He has to SAVE HER! Son: the vampire girl is gonna EAT HER!

Daughter: is she a vampire now that she’s dead? Son in giggles: Edwards dead too! Daughter: he’s upside down!!

So then I had this talk with my son about Bella having a baby that I didn’t have enough time to tweet. I didn’t think it would make sense in 140 characters. It went something like this.
Son: So does Bella end up with Jacob?
Me: No
Son: So he just has to be alone for ever?
Me: No, he actually falls in love with Bella’s daughter.
Son: Is she a vampire or a werewolf?
Me: She’s a half vampire half human.
Son: blinks in confusion. And then starts to giggle. What’s her name?
Me: Renessme.
Son: So a werewolf falls in love with a half vampire baby?
Then he proceeded to roll around on the floor laughing and chanting things like “hey baby, I wanna kiss you!”

(In Volterra) C: Is everyone wearing red to see Edward die? M: no, they are celebrating that the vampires are gone. C: But they aren’t. M: right. C: I don’t get it.

Edward was about to step into the sun and both kids were jumping up and down yelling RUN! RUN! HURRY! So cute!

C: Why does he sparkle? M: cause he’s a vampire. C: do all vamps sparkle? M: yup. C: weird.

About Aro C: He’s just an actor. M: yes. C: He just pretends to kill people. M: Right. C: Its bad to kill people, even if you pretend.

(This is the scene after they come back from Italy and are talking in her room) C:does she live with Edward now? M: no, she lives with her dad. C: Then why is Edward in her bedroom when its night time? (Snigger…) (LOTS of people wanted to know how I dealt with this one from my daughter. I said that they were just talking and then he’d go home. She’ll find out the WHOLE story when she’s a little older!)

I just pointed out that “Jasper” and “Sokka” are the same person and son is now chanting “Sokka wants to eat Bella. Sokka wants to suck your blood!”

Daughter: Who does Bella marry? M: Edward. D: frown M: Who would you pick? D: JACOB cause he’s an ANIMAL! (Remember that my daughter loves animals, so she meant this very innocently, but it made me bust a gut laughing!)

They left the living room before the proposal scene and went upstairs to pretend like they were wolves. They spent the next half hour or so running around howling at everything.