This is THE most hilarious thing like this I have ever read, and the non-Twihard is actually not really obnoxious. It’s absolutely worth the read!
“Dave: Okay! So let’s talk about GREEN HORNET! I’m ready!
Jen: Uhhhh, Dave?
Dave: Okay! So let’s talk about EAT PRAY LOVE!
Jen: Well, that’s not exactly the romantic epic I was thinking about.
Dave: Okay, I am now ready to talk about ENTER THE VOID!
Jen: That’s not it, either — although if Bill Condon gets creative he could take a very interesting cue from Enter the Void for the birthing scene in his 2011 sequel The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn. So… let’s talk TWILIGHT!
Dave: Why do I have to wait through Eclipse to get to the part where she has a monsterbaby?
Jen: Because all good things come to those who wait. Sometimes, those things are bloody, gory child birthings of half-human, half-monster babies. You know, they made Eclipse to be more action-packed than the previous two Twilight films, with plenty of vampire-on-vampire-on-werewolf violence. In other words, it’s kinda-sorta-almost your kind of movie!”
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