Thanks to Terri and Emily for pointing this out to us.
According to the Onion (well known for its biting sarcasm, satire, and humor):
“Acknowledging years of marital dissatisfaction and a noticeable increase in her vampire husband’s weight, 43-year-old Sara Pastor told reporters Thursday that she often seeks solace by losing herself in the escapist fantasy of the Twilight novels.The Pastors settle in for what has become a typical Friday night together.
The New Orleans resident said it’s been ages since her husband, 834-year-old Andrei Pastor, bought her flowers, took her dancing, or appeared at her second-story window and charmed her into allowing him inside. According to Sara, she purchased the first book in Stephenie Meyer’s young-adult vampire romance series 14 months ago, while waiting for her husband to pick her up from the airport, and has taken refuge in the novels ever since….”