The 12 Days of Twilight: A Twilight Lexicon Spoof

It’s been a heck of a year. Hope you all enjoy our tongue-in-cheek retrospective on the 12 themes that came up most frequently in new stories, emails, blog comments, and Google alerts this year.

Comments

  1. AliceCullen says:

    that was awesome!!!
    i loved the 5th and 8th days of twilight!!!!!

  2. This is so funnny. I love it.

  3. That was so awesome and funny. I never could understand what #4 is, “spoofing…”?

    5 Shirtless Quileuttes….

    Love it!

    • Twilight_News says:

      4 spoofing Hillys (It’s Alphie’s nickname for the Hillywood Players) their parodies are hilarious and we get a ton of emails about them and the fantastic job they do as the hosts of the Creation Entertainment actor panels.

  4. That was so funny! I love it :D

  5. lovin it, lovin it!!

  6. hemingways_edge says:

    i dont understand the 9 seconds of stupidity..? did you guys really think that was so stupid? hmm i was unaware of this. i mean i get that it was corny or whatever but so was the entire first movie and we loved it for it. any1 care to elaborate why that scene is so stupid? i thought we were supposed to be twilight fans not bashers. i dont think it was stupid. besides rob looked cute running. lol.

    • Twilight_News says:

      It’s a spoof. Most of the song is a big joke. What we mean is that New Moon, in all it’s greatness, had once moment that the entire fandom seems to agree was less than stellar, and that moment was Alice’s vision of vampire Bella.

      • amen. i was just enjoying the movie..then BAM. stupid slow motion skipping and ugly dresses…i about rolled over with laughter and could not hold it together for the rest of the movie.

    • Cause it was stupid…no offense, it just didn’t have that amazing spark that you’d think to get when Bella is finally a vampire. No bashing, just critic

      • hemingways_edge says:

        ok lol well i mean i admit it was cheesy and it didnt really live up to the hype of “seeing bella as a vampire for the first time” lol but i still think she looked pretty. and the main reason i was surprised was like the other comments said we hadnt heard you guys comment on it yet. this is the first time ive heard anybody from the lexicon say anything on that scene. but thanks for the replys =) i understand it better now. lol.

        • Twilight_News says:

          In our reviews for the film both Pel and I commented on how bad that scene was. So it wasn’t the first time we said it, but the reviews probably got lost in the mix of massive amounts of info that was posted that day.

          • hemingways_edge says:

            this is true. when new moon was released things were pretty hectic not to mention online. ill have to try and find the review though. thanks for letting me know. =)

          • Twilight_News says:

            You can find my review here:

            http://www.twilightlexicon.com/2009/11/20/alphies-review-of-new-moon/

            “And the other thing that I think everyone agrees on is that Alice’s vision of vampire Bella just… didn’t work. It was comical to see them frolicking like that. Just the clothes in the vision… neither character would wear those clothes.”

          • Yeah, that part was awful, I thought that was pretty universally agreed. The whole theater laughed when I saw it. It was just … really out of place and, for lack of a better word, er, gay.

          • though i agree that it was extremely foolish, there is always a better word rachel – especially since the one you used was irrelevant to the point you were trying to get across.

    • Haha, are you kidding, that scene was HELLA stupid! :) Thanks for the festive cheer, Lexicon!

  7. You guys are awesome! That was so funny! Have a wonderful Christmas and thank you for this awesome site!

  8. so… the 9 seconds of stupidity?

    BEST.

    LYRICS.

  9. Amy Darlene says:

    That was fantastic! as for the 9 seconds…I saw it as they finally saw the connection between Twilight and Tuck Everlasting….or what Alice saw as an ideal moment. of course she would have Bella in a pretty dress…because Alice would have picked out their clothes

    • Finally somebody else understands what Alice actually did to Aro! She manipulated the data, i.e. “her vision” to get Bella, Edward, and herself out of Volturra. She made it a “fairy tale” with a happy ending, hence the “Alice in Wonderland” dress on Bella. Aro is so enamored with Bella, and her willingness to die in place of Edward, that Alice gets away with the trick. It’s annoying when viewers laughed during the movie at this part. Alice gave Aro what he doesn’t have; she gave him the happily ever after. Since he is so intrigued by Bella, he doesn’t realize what she has done to him. That is why Alice is just as powerful as Jane.

      • hemingways_edge says:

        see thats what i thought!! lol thats exactly how i saw it and thats why i commented earlier on here about it and how i didnt think it was stupid. =) nice to know someone else gets it. *virtual high five* haha

      • I initially found those 9 seconds abit baffling too but after watching five times, I’ve come to the same conclusion…and also that Bella herself in Eclipse actually has her ‘Anne of Green Gables’ moments and Alice’s vision may juz be that too!

      • Barbara, Interesting. While I did laugh during this scene, I did wonder why they chose to set it up like that. That’s a pretty insightful explanation as to why the scene played out the way it did. Thanks for sharing! BTW: I also loved the scene in the elevator. Menacing, yet really very funny, what with the elevator music and the threatening stares.

      • Twilight_News says:

        Except Alice can’t manipulate a vision. She sees what will happen based on the path that people are on at that time. She doesn’t have the power to embellish it. Aro knows every thought you’ve ever had just by touching you. He would have known in a second if it was manipulated.

        • Alice’s visions are based on decisions. If Alice decides, right now, to make Bella a vampire, and put her in a completely unfashionable dress that Alice would Never choose, then her vision of the future she decided to create could, imo, have played out like that. That was kind of my theory anyway. That dress was awful.

        • Read Jeanine’s comment below. Alice sees Bella as a vampire, and even states she will turn her if she has to, if Edward can’t bring himself to do it. Bella has made the decision, and set it in motion. Therefore, Alice creates the “vision,” manipulates this vision for Aro, including the fairy tale ending of running through the forest. Different outcome if Edward changes Bella, but in Volturra, HE has not made that decision. Alice and Bella have, so Alice is able to manipulate HER vision anyway she chooses. Sorry, Twilight News, you missed that one.

          • I disagree. I think if she manipulated a vision, or “saw” something she knew would never happen that way (like putting her in a dress), Aro would know because Aro knows everything you’re thinking (as well as everything you’ve ever thought). It’s not like Edward where she can hide things or manipulate things so he can’t find out. Aro would know whether or not it was a real vision because he knows EVERY thought you’ve ever had – including the thought to manipulate an image.

            Not to mention the fact that why would she need to manipulate anything anyway? All she had to do was make the decision to change Bella, there’s no need to have her in an unrealistic dress and so on. I don’t see the connection in that argument. I think it was just a real vision she had, since she had made the decision to change Bella, based on the current path. Doesn’t mean it will happen that way, but it’s what’s going to happen as of that point.

            Mainly I think the problem people have with it is that it was just not filmed well. It’s cheesy in a different way than the rest of the movie/franchise, it’s in slow-mo, they are wearing weird clothes, and just look dumb.

      • Thank you!!

  10. That was great Alphie and Pel! I loved the abs, but my favorite was the 9 seconds of stupidity. How could you not include that in your coverage of the year when so many fans have commented on it?!!! I laughed out loud when you sang it Alphie because I wasn’t expecting it at all, but it was perfect to include.
    Merry Christmas!

  11. Great so funny!

  12. HA HA….#9 epic.

  13. This made my day, it was so funny! I also agree that #9 was fantastic, well done to both of you!

  14. Wait, this may be a dumb question, but on the two bogus lawsuits, I know the one with Stephanie Meyer over Breaking Dawn being supposedly plagerized, but what is the other bogus lawsuit?! I must have missed that at some point, can anyone fill me in?

    • Twilight_News says:

      There were actually two plagiarism issues this year. One was the teenager who really did sue Stephenie and the other was this bogus claim from a “roommate” of Stephenie’s from BYU which was totally false.

  15. Thanks, gals — inspired and lots of fun!

  16. i just have to say this who knew that Alphie knows who to sing??? XD u did a good job girls is was funny!!! love it!!

  17. THAT ROCKS!!! EXACTLY WHAT I NEEDED!!! Thank You soooooooo Much!

  18. Haha loved it! Nice voice Alphie!

  19. pffff everything was funny except de 9 seconds!

    COME ON, if we are really gonna say what is corny or what is stupid, if we analize both movies with a real eye-critic, we would say that they were bad! But we all love books , story, movies, etc, so we accept all the corny stuff, so what is the problem with this one :S?

    I loved that scene, and I think the site is doing wrong by saying something like that, it contradicts totally with what they do everyday.

  20. What’d they say for # 10?

  21. OMG! That was BRILLIANT! ROFLMAO!! Thanks Alphie!! :)

  22. 5 shirtless QuileuteS :D ha ha. I actually have never seen this poster before, except on the back cover of the New Moon Paperback book.

    and oh, am I the only one who likes the 9 seconds of stupidity, i thought that was hilarious :D

  23. wnat was #12 – couldn’t understand that one.

    thanks!

  24. I love the 5th day and the 10th day of the 12 days of twilight. I even love the little video in it. But I think the whole thing is funny. So it’s all great to me.

  25. Love. it.

  26. LOVE.

  27. Yeah, what was #12? I loved this, just didn’t understand what twelve was supposed to be.

    Thanks! This was great.

  28. Love it! :)

  29. Well done, applause applause!! Made with all the love, humor, and devotion to detail that you guys bring to the website every day. Good stuff, thank you, Happy Holidays!! :)

  30. Very nicely done! Happy Holidays, everyone!

  31. switzy4ever14 says:

    thanks once again, Lex ladies, for all that you do for us! It was great!

    Merry Christmas to everyone in the Twilight fandom !

  32. this is so great! i love it!

  33. pretty cute – the only thing I didn’t like was the 9 seconds of stupidity. I don’t know why everyone hates that so much. It’s obvious to me that is Alice’s vision of once Bella is changed. I imagine that as the woods between the Cullen’s and the cottage.

  34. I don’t get what everyone’s problem with the 9 seconds is, I thought it was awesome. It fits the description in Breaking Dawn, what more do you want? She’s wearing the stupid dress that Alice put on her, she’s barefoot because she threw the shoes back into the house after they jumped out the window, and she’s beautiful and has red eyes. Sure its not exactly how I imagined it, but nothing in the movies quite fit that.

    The only problem I had with it was the slow motion, it should have been fast motion, they are running vampires, after all…

    Also, visually, it made sense to put it there, otherwise we would have just seen 9 seconds of Aro holding Alice’s hand, (BORING) so if you really didn’t like it, consider the alternative.

    • MrsLautner09 says:

      Uuummm the reason I don’t like it is because its slow motion and the clothes they wore Alice would never allow! Remember when we thought that they might put the Anne of Green Gables flashback in New Moon instead of Eclipse? Yeah thats why I don’t like it! The dress is suppossed to be skin tight and thats why it ripped when she walked remember? anyway I just didn’t like that scene very much!

  35. BellaSeraph says:

    Very well done! And yes to the 9 seconds of stupidity, that was definitely cheesy.

  36. that was ridiculous! r u joking! that was fricken awesome nd all the shirtless pics of taylor was great!!!!!!!!! the funniest was probably the 9 seconds of stupidity! it was very funny! u pass A+

  37. Very well done! That wasn’t easy!

  38. BRAVO! BRAVO! ENCORE! ENCORE!!! You ladies so rock! I can relate to the “screaming cougars”. Is recording contract in Alphie’s future???? Brillant! Thank you for doing such a great job year round. Deepest Kudos!

  39. love2dream says:

    Merry Christmas! Thanks ladies. That was hilarious and I loved it all! –but I did crack-up the hardest at 9.

  40. MrsLautner09 says:

    9 seconds of stupidity was very funny! I was laughing so hard at that part, and when Edward was slow motioning across the parking lot. The girls in front of me kept giving me and my friends dirty looks….but we couldn’t contain ourselves!!!!!!!

  41. Wow! You put all that together and I still haven’t mailed my Christmas cards yet?! Amazing talent. Thanks for maintaining this must-visit-daily website.

  42. That was hilarious! I just couldn’t stop laughing!
    Thanks, Lexicon!

  43. That was genious. The 5th 8th and 9th days of Twilight were by far the best.

  44. OMG I THINK I JUST S*** MYSELF PAWHAHAHA~! MERRY XMAS HAPPY BIRTHDAY SMEYER

  45. I didn’t think it was 9 seconds of stupidity :’(

  46. Brittanylovestwilight says:

    I LOVED Alice’s vision!! Don’t you guys realize that it’s literally a page from Breaking Dawn? Bella and Edward running through the woods moments after she transformed into a vampire – Bella in a BLUE dress that Alice put on her and Edward in a white shirt that remained spotless even after he hunted. Don’t believe me? Check for yourself.

    That was one of the best parts in the movie! The first time I saw it, I started laughing because it seemed strange with the music playing but then I realized what Alice was seeing. :)

    • Nope – it’s not a scene out of BD. In the movie, she has amber eyes. In the entirety of BD, she has red eyes.

      • Brittanylovestwilight says:

        haha you’re right! but still…it’s pretty dang close to the scene from BD!

        • also, in breaking dawn, during the scene where bella and edward are hunting for the first time, alice has bella in a beautiful silky blue very revealing dress (as well as stiletto heels) that bella makes some comment like, “where did alice think i was going? a cocktail party” or something of the sort, about. this dress was far from that.

  47. I love it! :)

    Checking your webstie is one of my favorite internet routines! :)

    Merry Christmas :)

  48. That’s definitely the most amazing thing I have EVER seen. So creative and absolutely hilarious. That was great!!!

  49. that chick can NOT sing………at all

  50. whatever i loved the whole movie. but i do hope that when they do breaking dawn bella has the red eyes like in the book

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